Winter Tears
by FanGirl999
Summary: Hikaru has left and Kaoru has no one to turn to. When Kyouya finds him in the street, fate intervenes and saves him. Implied shoenai/yaoi Kyoukao. This story is on hold at the moment, but it wll be completed, hopefully before christmas.
1. Chapter 1 Winter Tears

**Winter Tears**

**This is dedicated to Bug, because without her help this would be even less grammatically correct and I would still be searching frantically through the dictionary for the right word…**

Kyouya found Kaoru slumped on the steps leading up to the Hitachiin's apartment block, groceries falling out of brown paper bags around him. The weather was turning bitter and there were big black clouds in the sky, threatening snow. Kaoru was wearing a thin jacket barely capable of keeping the wind out, let alone stopping the creeping cold of winter. Kyouya was about to walk on past and pretend that he didn't know the man he hadn't seen since high school, when he noticed that the former red-heads eyes were bloodshot and the skin around them rubbed raw, as if the Kaoru had been rubbing them furiously to try and stop the tears. Kyouya hesitated unsure of what to do. It had been so long and he wasn't even sure if this was his friend from long ago, the brilliantly red hair was now deep blue, almost black, which made him look tougher and less penetrable than the twin he had once been. Before he cross the road and escape, the man looked up from where he sat and his amber eyes bore straight into Kyouya's ebony ones. They were filled with such need and sorrow that Kyouya knew this was the younger Hitachiin.

'Kyouya?' His voice was hoarse, but he still had power behind it, making it bend to his will and pronounce the syllables. 'I haven't seen you in so long . You're exactly the same as I remember you, ominous and omnipotent.' Kyouya noticed Kaoru attempt a small smile, tears threatening to pour down his face.

'Kaoru.' He inclined his head slightly in greeting. 'I would not advise sitting on the ground in such weather, you're bound to catch the flu, especially so inadequately dressed as you are.'

'See,' another small smile. 'Exactly the same practical self.' The tears broke their dams and began to run slowly down the pale cheeks, as he looked straight into Kyouya's eyes. He seemed oblivious to them. His voice gave out, but he managed to whisper 'Hikaru's gone. He left, with some bimbo tart he met at a club. He says they're in love.'

Kyouya knelt down and silently lifted the lighter man to his feet, ignoring the groceries, and helped him up the steps towards the door. With shaking hands Kaoru tried to fumble his key into the lock, but after a minute, Kyouya gently removed it from his hand and did it for him. Once inside, Kaoru muttered that his flat was on the fourth floor and the lift wasn't working. For all the grandeur of the lobby, Kyouya was surprised, the money you paid for a flat with a doorkeeper in the middle of the city, it was taken for granted that the lift would work. Sighing, Kyouya steered them towards the marble staircase and began the trek upwards.

Once at the fourth floor, Kaoru had re-assembled some strength and pulled away from the older mans supporting arm and lead him down the hallway to his home. Inside was just as cold as the street outside; the heating had obviously been neglected, as well as housework. Kaoru headed down the hall and through the furthest door, entering the reception room. Kyouya followed him and found there were empty food containers everywhere and coffee stained mugs lying on the crisp white carpet, its contents discolouring the soft shag pile black and brown.

Quietly Kyouya asked as gently as possible, quite a feat for the Shadow King, ruthless business man that he was; 'How long has Hikaru been gone for?'

Kaoru appeared to ignore him, walking over to one of the spacious white suede sofas and curling up on it staring straight ahead at the bare white wall in front of him. Kyouya pushed his glasses up his nose, they had begun to slip, and was about to ask the question again when Kaoru replied, directing his reply to the wall. 'Two weeks. I ran out of coffee the day before yesterday so I thought I'd better go out and buy some food.'

'When did the food run out?' Kyouya was beginning to get concerned. If Kaoru wasn't eating properly or wearing suitable clothes for the harsh winter outside, he could easily get sick, and without anyone else around he could get in serious trouble.

'I can't remember, last week sometime I think. The maid came so it must have been Tuesday.' Kaoru was still staring at the wall, his voice empty of emotion. 'I didn't open the door so she gave up knocking and left.' Kaoru turned suddenly and looked at Kyouya, who was still standing at the entrance to the living room. 'I miss him so much. He's never been gone for this long before. I don't think he's coming back.'

Kyouya left his post by the door; seeing that his friend needed his help more than his shoes needed protecting from the dirt. He sat beside the Kaoru on the sofa and drew the smaller man into his arms, just holding him there and stroking the soft, blue hair. The tears came as they had before, slowly and quietly, their salty warmth soaking into the shoulder of Kyouya's suit. I such close contact to Kaoru, the older man noticed how thin he was, shoulder blades painfully jutting through his thin jacket. Even in the host club, the Hitachiin hadn't been this skinny. Kyouya sighed again. This was the last time he was going to walk home through an unknown part of town, next time he'd probably bump into Tamaki and get burdened with all his idiotic problems. 'Baka,' he muttered under his breath.

Kaoru looked up at him, the tears had stopped and his face was red from crying. 'Who's the idiot?'

Kyouya smiled at this, 'Just thinking about Tamaki and how inconvenient he was. He never could sort his life out. I'm glad he finally married Haruhi.'

Kyouya looked down and Kaoru was smiling up at him, the same that always graced his lips every time he and Hikaru had hatched some evil plan. Kyouya began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

'I think that was the first time I've ever seen you smile, when you were thinking about 'Our Lord'.' Kaoru's statement brought back more memories.

'He's one of the few people who I actually find amusing. His antics are quite spectacular at times. Thank god you're the one I found in the street not him, I don't think I could handle him if Haruhi left him.' Kyouya knew only too late that he had made a mistake. Kaoru tensed and it was almost possibly to feel him retreat back into his mental shell. 'Kaoru, you know I don't mean it like that. Hikaru just needs some independence, to be able to do what he wants without having to care about anyone else, he'll come back. What happened to your hair anyway?' This last comment he tired to make light, to lift the air of gloom that had retreated back into the cold room.

'I wanted to be able to look in the mirror without seeing him. I wanted to be recognised as Kaoru, and not to be constantly mistaken for him,' was mumbled into his shoulder.

'That's the strange thing about you two, I never thought you looked like him.' This was the first time that Kyouya had admitted this to either Hitachiin twin. Kaoru looked up at him, his amber eyes startled by the revelation. 'You always had warmer eyes than him; your smile was always purer. You were more vulnerable.'

Kaoru reached up his free arm behind Kyouya's head and pulled it down to his level, capturing the older mans lips with his, before breaking away quickly and whispering 'Thank you.' Kyouya recognised that the words meant so much more. In the Hitachiin's eyes you could see them much clearer, and that some of the pain was beginning to reside. It was still there, and would be for some time, but its weight had begun to lessen.

'Please, can you stay here with me tonight?' Kaoru's eyes had a tinge of hope in them when Kyouya finally opened his, and he knew at once that he could never refuse anything that this man asked of him.

'Of course. I hadn't noticed that it had gotten so dark.' I was late afternoon when Kyouya had found his old friend, and the light had faded quickly. 'But first, I am going to turn the heating on otherwise we will both freeze to death by morning.'

After extracting himself from the light body, Kyouya found the thermostat by the front door. Turning it up high, he returned to the living room, only to find it deserted. He was about to call out to Kaoru, ask where he had gone, but he spotted a door on the other side of the room, opened slightly, light falling through the crack. Kyouya skirted around the rubbish and furniture and entered the bedroom. He found Kaoru sitting on the bed, knees curled into his chest and arms wrapped around them. Kyouya once again sat next to the smaller man and wrapped him in his long arms, offering more warmth this time than comfort; Kaoru's emaciated frame incapable of storing heat, his temperature had severely dropped.

Kaoru allowed the Ootori to remove his jacket, trousers and shirt, and Kyouya barely managed to suppress his wince as, dressed only in his boxers, every one of Kaoru's bones were visible. After a quick search in the chest of draws opposite the bed he located a pair of pyjamas and redressed the younger man. Kyouya lifted him bridal style to the head of the bead and slipped the younger man under the sheets. It was surprising how quickly the younger man had tired, but remembering how little he had been eating lately, and how cold he was, Kyouya thought it was inevitable for him to be so exhausted. Tomorrow I am going to get him to eat something, he thought to himself.

By the time he had cleared up all the mess in the living room and had managed to save as much carpet as his expertise allowed, Kyouya returned to check on the younger man. Kaoru, although fast asleep, had curled himself into a ball and was shivering ferociously under the sheets. Kyouya removed his suit, carefully folded the expensive cotton and placed it on the chair by the window, placing his glasses delicately on the nightstand, and climbed into the large bed beside Kaoru. He pulled the younger man back into his arms and felt his body relax into him. When the shivering began to reside, Kyouya allowed the tendrils of sleep to take hold and closed his eyes, swiftly falling into a deep slumber.

**Yeah, well thats it, please review. Critisism is welcome as long as its CREATIVE critisism, no flames. If you want me to continue it, review and I will.**


	2. Chapter 2 Freezing Over

**Chapter 2- Freezing Over**

**A/N: Would ya look at that, I have actually updated something for the first time ever! It's in Kaoru's POV (sort of) this time and is rather short so I my change it later on, and the mood has a major flip near the end-ish...**

The sharp winter sun roused Kaoru from sleep as it crested the opposite building; its rays filling the room will light. The weather had taken such a turn from the day before it was surprising, and not pleasantly so for the people walking on the street swaddled under layers of thick coats and scarves. The light that filled the bedroom was bright and brought to sharp focus the dirty windows and slightly grubby sheets.

Kaoru pressed his back into the hard chest of his brother, relishing in the close human contact that he had not been able relish in for months. It felt good to be held tight by strong arms, keeping him in place, protecting him from the outside world. Kaoru closed his eyes and sighed happily. The sun was out and today he would drag Hikaru down to the park with him in their lunch break, a ritual reserved for days such as these when the weather is perfect. Yes, Hikaru would play up, complain that it was immature and stupid to be playing on swings at the age of twenty, but by the time their hour was up, he would be whinging about having to go back to the studio, and begging for another minute or two. But, the last time the weather was fine, they hadn't gone to the park, and Kaoru couldn't remember why. A small frown creased his forehead as he tried to concentrate on what had happened. He _had_ planned for the to go to the park, he remembered making sandwiches for a picnic, but then… She had turned up just before they were going to go. Hikaru took _their_ lunch, and taken her to the park instead of him.

It all came back to Kaoru in a rush of images. Being ditched at various events and functions; sleeping alone because Hikaru hadn't come home that night; left on his own to entertain clients because he hadn't turned up for work the morning after; catching his brother with her in his bed; the argument, shouting, threats, and then discovering that his brother had left without saying goodbye; not being able to eat without throwing up because of the loneliness; being found by Kyouya on the street, and the what? He couldn't remember. So whose arm, if not his brothers…?

Kaoru's eyes flashed open. He gingerly pulled down the thin sheets and stared at the arms wrapped possessively around his waist. They were definitely not his brothers, too long for starters. Slowly, he attempted to remove the offending appendages, but this slight movement caused them to tighten, thwarting his plans of a speedy getaway.

'You're not going anywhere.' Kaoru froze at the familiar voice. What happened last night! 'You're ill, you need to rest, and eat.' Kyouya untwined the impossibly long arms and sat up, but Kaoru remained impassive on the bed. The Shadow King of high school was just a prelude of what the man had become, a ruthless businessman who used any weakness in his oppositions defence to make fatal blows in their profits and success. This knowledge of Kaoru's indiscretion could ruin his public persona, and destroy the business.

The mattress sprung back into its original shape as Kyouya stood, and Kaoru heard him dressing. He relaxed slightly as he heard the door to the flat closing as the older man left. He would be alone to wallow in his misery, and by the time that it was revealed that he was a failure; a wreck, 'a disappointment', that could not run the family business without his brother to hold his hand, it would be far too late. The though comforted him. He would no longer care about his brother, no longer would he care about the loneliness burn deep within every time he woke, no longer would there be the arguing every time he tried to talk to the one person that meant the world to him. There would be peace at last, quiet bliss for the rest of eternity.

Kaoru knew that his parents wouldn't care if he were dead; he had always been the less outgoing of the twins and he had never achieved anything that they could be proud of. Hikaru would be relieved at not having to take care of him all the time. He would be able to live with and be happy with _her_ without having his stupid little brother getting in the way all the time and ruining things. No one would cry at his funeral, no one would miss him.

He tried to push himself into a sitting position with his arms, but his muscles cried out in pain and refused to respond. The lack of food over the past weeks and the strain and cold of the previous day had caused his body to deteriorate at a rapid speed over night. Collapsing back into the pillows, Kaoru smiled. The dry skin on his lips cracked and tore at the strain and needles of pain spread across them. Blood began to seep slowly out of the wounds, causing him to smile wider. The pain felt good, knowing that it could be the last physical pain he would ever experience. Soon, he told himself, before drifting into unconsciousness.


End file.
